Q- In some countries today, children are taught from a young age that competition is important and that winning is everything. Is this a positive or a negative development?
Ans. In contemporary societies, children are often instructed that competition is paramount and that winning is the ultimate goal. I firmly believe that this trend is detrimental as it imposes significant pressure on children, fosters unethical behaviour, impedes the development of crucial social skills, and instils a pervasive sense of failure in students.
The persistent emphasis on winning can result in elevated levels of stress and anxiety, significantly affecting a child’s mental health. Children may find themselves overwhelmed by the continual pressure to outperform their peers, leading to burnout and a diminished interest in learning. Furthermore, this emphasis on winning may contribute to a decline in ethical behavior, as children might resort to dishonest means such as cheating to achieve victory. This not only diminishes the principles of fair play but also poses risks to their future development.
Moreover, this approach can contribute to a deficiency in empathy and understanding among students. They may become so self-centered that they neglect to consider the feelings of others, creating a barrier to the development of their social skills and impeding the cultivation of emotional intelligence. In addition to this, an excessive focus on winning can instill a fear of failure. A child may become so apprehensive about losing that they refrain from taking risks or trying new things, thereby constraining their potential for personal growth and development.
In conclusion, while competition can have some benefits, the current trend of teaching children that winning is everything is a negative development. It is crucial that we foster a more balanced approach, where children are taught the value of effort, learning, and personal growth rather than focusing solely on victory.
Analysis
Paraphrased Statement: In contemporary societies, children are often instructed that competition is paramount and that winning is the ultimate goal.
Thesis Statement: I firmly believe that this trend is detrimental as it imposes significant pressure on children, fosters unethical behavior, impedes the development of crucial social skills, and instills a pervasive sense of failure in students.
Body Paragraph 1-Topic Sentences: The persistent emphasis on winning can result in elevated levels of stress and anxiety, significantly affecting a child’s mental health. Children may find themselves overwhelmed by the continual pressure to outperform their peers, leading to burnout and a diminished interest in learning.
Body Paragraph 1- Supporting Reasons and Explanations: Furthermore, this emphasis on winning may contribute to a decline in ethical behavior, as children might resort to dishonest means such as cheating to achieve victory. This not only diminishes the principles of fair play but also poses risks to their future development.
Body Paragraph 2- Topic sentences: Moreover, this approach can contribute to a deficiency in empathy and understanding among students. They may become so self-centered that they neglect to consider the feelings of others, creating a barrier to the development of their social skills and impeding the cultivation of emotional intelligence.
Body Paragraph 2- Supporting Reasons and Explanations: In addition to this, an excessive focus on winning can instil a fear of failure. A child may become so apprehensive about losing that they refrain from taking risks or trying new things, thereby constraining their potential for personal growth and development.
Conclusion: In conclusion, while competition can have some benefits, the current trend of teaching children that winning is everything is a negative development. It is crucial that we foster a more balanced approach, where children are taught the value of effort, learning, and personal growth rather than focusing solely on victory.
Vocabulary in Use
In contemporary societies, children are often instructed that competition is paramount and that winning is the ultimate goal. I firmly believe that this trend is detrimental as it imposes significant pressure on children, fosters unethical behavior, impedes the development of crucial social skills, and instills a pervasive sense of failure in students.
The persistent emphasis on winning can result in elevated levels of stress and anxiety, significantly affecting a child’s mental health. Children may find themselves overwhelmed by the continual pressure to outperform their peers, leading to burnout and a diminished interest in learning. Furthermore, this emphasis on winning may contribute to a decline in ethical behavior, as children might resort to dishonest means such as cheating to achieve victory. This not only diminishes the principles of fair play but also poses risks to their future development.
Moreover, this approach can contribute to a deficiency in empathy and understanding among students. They may become so self-centered that they neglect to consider the feelings of others, creating a barrier to the development of their social skills and impeding the cultivation of emotional intelligence. In addition to this, an excessive focus on winning can instill a fear of failure. A child may become so apprehensive about losing that they refrain from taking risks or trying new things, thereby constraining their potential for personal growth and development.
In conclusion, while competition can have some benefits, the current trend of teaching children that winning is everything is a negative development. It is crucial that we foster a more balanced approach, where children are taught the value of effort, learning, and personal growth rather than focusing solely on victory.
Linkers and Connectors Used
The linkers and connectors used in the essay are as follows:
- In contemporary societies
- I firmly believe
- As
- The persistent emphasis on
- Can result in
- Furthermore
- Not only… but also
- Moreover
- They may become so… that
- In addition to this
- In conclusion
- While
- It is crucial that
Are you preparing for IELTS? Check out this video to improve your writing skills for the IELTS exam given below👇.
Download the Leverage IELTS App today.
Need help preparing for IELTS? Check out the best IELTS preparation courses in the market offered in a live training environment by trusted educators in a live training environment. If you want to help studying abroad, call 1800-572-000.